I’m not much for television. I’ll watch classic movies and stuff on cable, but in general, I have no idea what’s going on in TV land these days. I’m just not that interested. However, I do see Law and Order on cable reruns. I enjoy the show because it’s shot on location in New York. I seem to have been to a great number of those locations and I enjoy picking them out. Other than the locations, I wanted to share an entertaining observation.

If you’re not familiar with the show, it’s shockingly formulaic. There’s usually a murder. Half of the episode is spent in the police investigation and the other half is spent in the prosecution of the killer. When one actor runs his or her course in the cast, they usually get another one with similar appeal and keep doing what they’ve been doing for ten years or whatever it’s been.

What seems to be working for the show is that they get a very attractive woman to play an assistant district attorney. They’ve been through a bunch of them. They all look like models. Most of them have been at some point. Dick Wolf Productions seems to prefer a particular type. They all dress in suits with jackets.

Check this out. Every episode has a :30 boob shot. Midway through every episode, without fail, the assistant DA is depicted in the suit, but with the jacket off. It never fails. You can truly set your watch by it. The strange thing is that the women don’t necessarily have to be all that busty. (In fact, many of them have been built like twelve-year-old boys.) It doesn’t matter. At the :30 mark or thereabouts, the jacket comes off and we are shown the sweater or the silky top stretched across whatever breasts the assistant DA has. Sometimes, the shot is given in profile for added effect, but it’s always done waist-up. You’ll never see anyone walking down a hallway at :30.

Once you notice the :30 boob shot, it won’t leave you alone. It’s like tambourine on a ZZ Top record. Once you notice it’s there, you can’t believe how many times you missed it, but now it drives you up the goddam wall. What’s going on with Dick Wolf? And what’s wrong with me for noticing this fetish amidst all of the drama?